." teased Steetch. "No, never mind, I didn't say a thing." protested Hardcase. "How about we follow the trade route, and find the next town or economic center?" geeked Steetch. "Mayby they have a Quest-like Adventure they need handled there?" he guessed. The adventurers had discovered that people didn't have any strong opinions about magic users, except that you didn't want to mess with someone who had powers, be they gods or wizards. So, Freaky would get to dress as strangely as he cared to. He took Patches to town, while the rest camped out, and got provisions, and cool mystical robes and shit. Dried corn husks, to use as TP, never go adventuring without TP. Usualy you would also want waterproof matches in your ziplock bag of toiletpaper, but with someone with an afinity for fire and an Eagle Scout, there wasn't much call for matches. Even Freaky himself could turn up a pyrite and a flint if need be. Thus fortified, he politely invited Patches to accompany him, and headed out of. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. 6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously. 7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. 8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. 9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse’s forearm and remove.
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